rubber revelation.

I’m about to take an ax to my formerly beloved Inkblog.

I was trying to make a card this weekend, simply for the pure enjoyment of it. Well, I became incredibly frustrated with what I was working on so I ripped up the paper and stormed off proclaiming that “I *bleeping* hate stamping.” Wow. That was a shocking revelation! (And I don’t typically use words like that!)

For two months now, my camera has been out of commission (not that I’m counting or anything). It’s rather impossible to run a stamping tutorial journal when you don’t have a camera. I got an e-mail today from a reader saying she’d like to unsubscribe from my blog because I talk too much about Squidoo lenses and blog banners I’ve designed. That really got to me. I mean, I figured that people were thinking that anyway, with my lack of quality content, but to actually hear it was a blow. This is one of the reasons why I’ve started this blog. I need another outlet, one that people can’t criticize as easily for being “off-topic.”

So, anyway, about *bleeping* hating stamping. I don’t know when it started. What I do know is that the pressure finally got to me and I cracked.

I know I don’t make the most incredible cards on the web. I never wanted my blog to be a showcase for my own work (although to hear that people do like my cards does make me happy). My goal was to make something that was nice enough looking to show off a technique or two so that my readers would be inspired to try it for themselves. But, you know, the pressure of making something that was nicer than “nice enough” really got to me. It’s like I would hound myself with reminders that people would be looking at my work and judging me. That can lead to someone ripping up some cardstock, wouldn’t you say?

Also, I can only recall a handful of times (maybe five—maybe!) when I pulled out my stamps and created something specifically for someone else. I started out my stamping career as a demonstrator for Stampin’ Up! and I think that’s the culprit. Every good card I made became a sample. Every beautiful card I saw and then copied became something else to display at a workshop. If it was someone’s birthday, I might (if they were lucky) pull a card out of my sample basket for them. Most of the time I completely forgot about sending out cards to friends and family. It actually became a bit of a joke that I “made cards for a living” but I never had one on hand when it was someone’s birthday. And I certainly wasn’t going to stoop to shelling out $3 at Hallmark for one! It was a very odd dichotomy—I was always making cards, but never giving them away. So what was I making making them for?!

So, the end result of all of this inner turmoil? I got a box and a few bags and I cleared out my stamping cabinet (at least now there is finally room for all the scrapbooking supplies that were waiting for a home…). I’m going to give it a few weeks at least, but if I really do feel this way (and it’s not just hormones) I think I’ll be listing everything on e-Bay. I don’t want to be silly about it and toss out something I feel fickle about. But I really think I’m forever burnt-out on the whole process. I just don’t enjoy it… and I really don’t know if I ever did! I did enjoy teaching and sharing ideas with others. But I’m no longer a cardmaker…

I’m off now to go work on some “behind the scenes” things to get Inkblots ready to go inactive. I really think that it’s just time to drop this baggage and move on.

I think I’m starting to feel better already.

6 Responses to “rubber revelation.”

  1. A Change of Seasons :: the inkblog, a rubber stamping tutorial journal Says:

    […] feelings here (if you care to read more about what led to all this, you can visit my personal blog: here and here), but it’s a bit like a weight has been lifted by just getting these feelings out. Well, […]

  2. ~liz Says:

    Um if you have SU wild wild west and dream catcher I’LL TAKE THEM. If you are getting rid of stuff. Hey I like your blog I have it in my reader. I personally don’t think that you should quit carding come on. It’s not that big of a deal. Oh and that part about not sending any out or being late with everyone it’s like my daughter said “it’s not about the cards” is it mom? I said no it’s not. For me, It’s really just about relaxation, decompressing and the creative process. I have purchased WAY too many products, tools etc but whatever I like them. Let me know if I could be the lucky recipient of stamp sets I wouldnt let that persons comment hurt you either. NOONE even visits mine anymore it seems. I haven’t had a comment in days. I know that I have been uploading stash and it’s not new stuff but oh well it still hurts.

  3. Tammy L Says:

    Well, I look forward to keeping up with your all-in-one-place blog (if I understand correctly that that is what this will be!)! 🙂

    I think there can be a lot of pressure in the “blog world” but it’s only there if we let it be. I blog about what I feel like blogging about — though I try to stay on topic somewhat, I don’t limit myself because it’s a cooking blog. I don’t have time for lots of different online activities/sites/blogs, so it ALL goes into one place for me. 🙂 And I don’t read a lot of other cooking blogs, or even a whole lot of other blogs in general, mostly for time purposes. But it really helps me to not try to stretch myself so thin! I know my food/photos/content isn’t “the best” but it’s ME! 🙂

    I think it was rude of someone to write you and tell you they were going to unsubscribe! My goodness, just unsubscribe and be done with it! lol It’s nice to have readers, but we shouldn’t feel pressure from all of those unknown and unseen faces who visit our blogs. There are other things in life more important. 🙂 When I first started blogging, I took the time to watch my statistics and links and stuff… these days, I’m lucky if I check my stats once every month or two! 🙂 But it’s freeing, too. 🙂

    Anyway, I hope you find your own comfy routine/spot, and I look forward to keeping in touch with you again. 🙂

  4. TammyM Says:

    I was in your same shoes several years ago. I too was an SU! demo and never gave any cards away yet I LOVE teaching. I finally sold anythng and everything that had the SU label on it and I have had no regrets 🙂

  5. Cheryl Sims Says:

    I totally get you!!! I will also follow you to your new blog and enjoy what ever you write. You are a talented writer as well as crafter and stamper and now you need to do what ever you want for your own enjoyment with no pressure to create for others. I am proud of you.

  6. Maria Says:

    When I read your post, I had to chuckle because I’ve had my moments when I wanted to just stop rubber stamping and card making all together. I’ve been running a stamping/paper crafting blog for 4 years, shared tons of tutorials, and for the past year, I had been going through a similar turmoil. I continued on despite not wanting to make cards or stamp. I have so many paper crafting stuff that I just felt like a crazy nut having bought all of them through the years and not use them anymore. Selling them would mean a huge loss because many of my things were bought at non-sale prices so selling them is not really an option right now. I’ll probably let go someday but I just can’t do it right now.

    This year I decided I could not go on the way things were. . .stamping/paper crafting day in a day out and not really enjoying it. I changed my blog name and my blog focus. I know people visited my blog for my stamping and paper crafting projects but I was no longer happy. So. . .to make a long story short, my focus of my blog is now “whatever the heck I want to post”! LOL! I do have a lot of other hobbies, jewelry making, crocheting, sewing, polymer clay, art journaling, photography, etc., etc. I informed my readers that my blog no longer will be about just “paper crafting, cardmaking, and stamping” and I’ve had a few unsubscribers and that’s okay. Most have stuck around and actually are inspired to try other hobbies so I’m glad that my need to change also inspired others to try something new. I’m happier now that I can blog what I feel like blogging and not what others expect out of me.

    Thank you for your post. . .I don’t feel so alone. . .:)